Severe Morning Sickness

Being at my parent's house is always great, but when I go near that bathroom -- yes, that one at the top of the stairs, I get flashbacks like a soldier in the jungle. For THAT was the toilet that was puked upon religiously during the middle to end of my first trimester when I crawled back home and surrenderd to the TLC of my parents (yes, I am a married, full-grown, competent adult)...(technically). 

When I was pregnant with Lucie, I had very severe morning sickness that lasted until 16 weeks. The medical term for this is hyperemesis gravidarum, or HG. HG is defined as severe morning sickness (or to be more correct, "nausea and vomiting associated with pregnancy" [NVP]) that prevents adequate intake of food and fluids. I've also heard it defined as regularly throwing up 4 or more times per day. Let me see if I can define it better: unrelenting nausea and puking; complete misery. It affects about 1% of pregnant women.

Technically, I was still able to eat (most days) and I did not lose a significant amount of body weight, so I was probably at the "good" end of the continuum.

One of the reasons it's difficult to discuss with people - especially other women - is that they can't truly understand how miserable it is because they (99% of you bastards) didn't experience it. I can't tell you how many times well-meaning friends told me I'll feel better if I just "take a walk" or "eat some saltines" or "chew on some ginger" or "drink some soda" or "take your Vitamin B".... you get the picture. Heh. Take this ginger and shove it up yer.... yeaaam.

This is not your garden variety morning sickness. This is morning sickness from hell. Complete with horns and a spiky tail.

Feeling constantly nauseated is probably the worst feeling in the world. I think I'd prefer chronic physical pain to chronic nausea. There are several factors that contribute to the sheer misery of this condition 1. you probably didn't see it coming (or like me, even know this level of woe was even possible) 2. nobody else really understands how shitty it is 3. you have no idea how to treat it 4. your OB probably isn't very empathetic 5. you really can't function in your daily life and 6. you have no idea when or IF it will end.

Here are some facts:

It starts early and usually lasts past the first trimester, resolving around 21 weeks; however, for about a third, it can last the entire pregnancy. Nobody knows for sure what causes it, although the chart o'misery tends to correlate heavily with progesterone levels.

Women with HG are often unable to care for themselves or their families for weeks, sometimes months. Some women may be unable to eat for lengthy periods and lose 5-10% (or more) of their pre-pregnancy body weight in the first few months. This in turn leads to debilitating fatigue and depression. About 3% of women with (HG) will choose elective termination (a.k.a abortion) to avoid the misery and stress they will face and many will not go on to have another baby. Nobody talks about that part. 

There were dark days that summer. There were days I thought I was dying -- and many days that I wanted to die. This condition gets inside your head. Many women fall into depression. And on the good days - because there are some good days sprinkled in there - you want to kiss the ground and thank god that you aren't hugging the jon. You swear that you will never take feeling good for granted ever again. It changes you. If changes you forever.

If you have this condition, I would give the following advice (for what it's worth, which maybe isn't a lot)...

• Don't ever go to the grocery store or anywhere that sells food. Only go to restaurants if you're having a "good" day.
• Don't allow food to be cooked in your house, especially meats or any kind of animal product.
• Don't over-hydrate. Yes, stay hydrated, but do not drink too much water. The nights that I was sickest is when I drank woo much water (I think).
• Don't go into stores or places that are enclosed, like big-box stores and malls. Make sure you have access to windows and fresh air.
• Don't take your prenatal vitamins if they make you sick. Women have had babies for tens of thousands of years without them. You'll be fine.
• Don't force yourself to eat anything you're not craving. Follow your gut.
• Don't watch TV if you're feeling bad. The motion of the picture often made me vomit. The same holds true for reading. 

DO

• Do take Unisom and Vitamin B; sleep is your friend.
• Do eat exactly what you are craving - even if it's Twinkies and potato chips. You'll have time to eat healthy later.
• Do talk to your OB about medication options, common oral and IV therapies include Zofran, Reglan, and Phenergan. Some women will have a PICC line installed for easy IV access.
• Do remember that you aren't dying and you WILL get better
• Do listen to relaxing music when all else fails. Podcasts were a friend of mine that summer because TV made me sick.
• Do keep lemons (freshly cut, preferably) in a bowl by the toilet to sniff or lick (yes, seriously) when you're vomiting. Especially if you need to 'stop the cycle'. Lemons were my best friend.

Every case is different, this is just what helped me. 

Good luck and keep your eyes on the prize, mom-ee. The reward is great!

PS. If it's any consolation, these babies are supposed to be hella smart. In theory ;-)

Comments

[Jhope]

Thanks for sharing this. So well written/stated. Lemons were also my best friend and yes, tv made me vomit b/c of the motion. Our daughter (adorable, healthy and super smart :-) is almost 4 yrs, and I have just begun to look into the HG community...grateful you are all *here* for us "survivors"!

[Renee]

Mine lasted all 9 mother effing months. For TWO pregnancies. 18 months of my life I was nauseous and puking. Oh, and this was all in the last 3 years... half of my past 3 years were spent hunched over a toilet crying and hurling! I took drugs for it and still puked. I wanted to punch people in the face when they said they "loved being pregnant" or "pregnant women are so beautiful" or all the things you mentioned above (I gag every time I see a saltine cracker now). To make matters worse, I work in a Montessori classroom of 3-6 year olds (talk about hell... I can't wait to get back to the classroom, but I'll pass on sprinting down the hall all day to puke or pulling over 4 times during my 5 mile commute).

My two sons are healthy and happy kids (2yrs. old and 4 months old) and retrospectively, totally worth the abject misery, but I would have never been able to convince myself of that while I was pregnant (with either of them). I'm glad that I am not the only freak of nature that feels completely murderous while pregnant I guess I'm a lucky member of .33% of the population that sucks at pregnancy... and I totally use that for leverage during and after pregnancy... the hubby is the lone diaper-changer in our house because of this "condition". I wish someone had told me about it (WTF doctor? WTF midwife?), and I sure as heck wish I'd known about the lemons!

[KAMI]

I HAD THIS WITH MY FIRST DAUGHTER AND SHE IS BRILLIANT SHE IS 16 MONTHS OLD AND HER DOCTOR SAYS SHE IS AS ADVANSED AS A THREE YEAR OLD. SO I AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT THAT THEY ARE SMART. I ALSO HAVE IT WITH THIS PREGNANCY WHICH IS MY SECOND AND I HOPE THAT THIS BABY IS JUST AS SMART CAUSE I HONESTLY DONT KNOW WHERE THEY GET IT FROM.

[Olivia]

Interesting. The last time I saw you puke in your mom's toilet was after your bachelorette party and you missed your flight home. Ah, fun times. Feels like a decade ago. Oh, it was a decade ago.

[LP]

I'm at 16 weeks and have hardly been sick this time around. Here's hoping the same goes for you next time. I think one thing that has helped is the tremendous amount of sleep I indulged myself with. That, and fearing it would be TERRIBLE ... and then being pleasantly surprised. Of course I never had it half as bad as you, praise jebus

[Tiff]

Thanks for talking about the psychological aspects of severe nausea. I had something between bad morning sickness and very mild HG. It was plenty bad enough for me.

Morning sickness is always "cute" and "funny" in the movies, so I was really unprepared for just how DARK everything seems when you feel that sick, and how much it restricts your everyday life. I wish someone had told me in advance that this was a possibility, and that "morning sickness" could make me so deeply depressed.

Fortunately for me, when I was still dropping weight at 23 weeks, my OB took pity on me and prescribed Zofran. It knocked the nausea out, and got rid of most of the barfies. I still threw up a lot of mornings and could only eat bland things, but it was nothing like before. Once the nausea became manageable, the sun came out again, and I was so, so, so much happier and more hopeful. I love Zofran so much that I wrote it a poem.

[anon please]

You're right that no one talks about this. I got pregnant unexpectedly and had no idea that this kind of thing was even out there. Until I was in the hospital 3 times in the first tri, had been on 3 different medicines, lost 22 pounds which was probably almost ALL the fat on my body, and the docs were talking about trying the pump. This condition IS out there and while it is improving for me now at almost 17 weeks, it's still not fully gone. I so wish that someone had at least clued me in that this was possible, that I wasn't the only one and that I wasn't going to kill the baby from being so sick.

[Houston Home Security]

Very cool post. I just recently started following your blog, but I look forward to contributing more in the future.Houston Home Security

[KLutz]

I thought I was the only one!! I'm 20 weeks and am just starting to feel better. I was dreading Christmas this year because of all the food, smells, time spent sitting or standing (I prefer to be horizontal) but my bestie Zofran helped immensely. I still can't stomach eating meat, especially red meat. Some of my other favorite foods are ruined for me as well.

I'm only halfway done but I'm ready to be done with being pregnant. Finally I'm getting over being sick, only to be a few weeks away from feeling like a whale stage of pregnancy. I'm super excited for my little bundle of joy to arrive, I just hope the sickness is over and I can "enjoy" being pregnant for awhile!

[Lou]

Meg, My husband thinks I am obsessed, I have spent the last three mornings going back and forth between lucies list and our registries. The first time I looked at your site, I was so overwhelmed by the copious amounts of baby crap we were going to be inundated with, that I couldn't deal. After barely starting registries in two stores, and deciding on a few big items like car seat, stroller, I came back to your site, and it makes sense now. I appreciate how straightforward and funny you are! And feel like I am outsmarting someone, switching from the bob to the city mini and from the graco 35 to the smaller seat! Thanks Meg, you rock!!

[Jessica]

This article has been extremely encouraging. My mom has always told me that she was sick the whole time that she was pregnant with me, and I never truly grasped what that meant. I am 13 weeks and still feeling sick. These last eight or so weeks have been absolutely horrible, and I, too, will never be able to eat a saltine cracker again. I have been taking Zofran the whole time because my mom is a nurse who knows my OBGYN and knew to fight for me to get it ASAP. Gotta love that woman. I kept reading about ginger this and ginger that, and the smell/taste of ginger absolutely made me immediately want to vomit. I did start taking a ginger root supplement, however, that my husband got me. I had to hold my nose because it does still smell faintly of ginger, but I like to think that it potentially helped. It has slowed down a little these past few days, but I was getting sick three to four times a day...and sometimes more. I felt nauseous and absolutely awful all day, though, so my thinking is that maybe the Zofran and ginger helped prevent me from getting sick more often. Maybe that's just wishful thinking. I am definitely going to try the lemons, though.

[Taylor]

I just stumbled across this site, and then this post and I have to say that it is EXTREMELY comforting to know that someone else went through what I did. I was 24 weeks when I stopped feeling like death every day. It is so hard to explain to anyone what it is like to feel like you have the WORST parts of the flu every day for weeks on end. I got into so many arguments with doctors, my mother, and even people I barely knew over how much I was sleeping, how much I wasn't able to eat, and what I should do about it. I couldn't even hold down the Phenergan that the doctor prescribed me, and when I finally started to feel better it was like someone drew back the curtains over my eyes and said "Welcome Back to Life!".

thanks for sharing your story!

[Andrea]

I'm so glad to know that there r more of u HG mommas out there! There were literally times when I was sure I was dying. My eyes were sunk back in my head and I lost 15 pounds in a 2week period. I too would have to pull over on my way home from work (5 miles) sometimes three or four times and will myself to at least make it up the driveway before puking up my stomach acid yet again. Also there is nothing like coming out of the bathroom at work after hurling your insides and coworkers saying "bless your heart! I NEVER got sick when I was pregnant!" I have never wanted to punch someone in the face so bad in my entire life. Good thing I had zero energy or I may be facing a few assault and battery charges right now. My OB eventually felt so sorry for me that she prescribed a zofran pump which became my new best friend.

[Leanne]

I am 11 weeks pregnant with my second child and morning sickness hit me like a brick wall at exactly 5 weeks and 2 days. I have since felt CONSTANT nausea. It takes A LOT for me to puke, even with the flu, so unfortunately I don't get the temporary relief that I envision would come with actually being able to purge. I am just completely miserable ALL the time. To make matter worse, I am in culinary school. I love to bake and yet the thought of sweets makes me want to vomit. Latin cuisine is absolute torture; with all the fish, bacon, pork products, raw garlic and various spices, I dread that class every week. It is even so bad that just reading my text book or writing out my recipe cards conjures up memories of smells and I am unbelievable nauseous. I have Zofran, but have discovered that it makes me extremely dizzy and doped up. I'm not sure which is worse, nausea or dizziness that brings on nausea. I found acupressure bands at both Target and Babies R Us that do seem to help a little. I can't force myself to eat another cracker and all the dry crackers have just constipated the hell out of me. So I try more veggies and I then I get acid reflux and thus more nausea. My husband just doesn't get it. The only time I truly feel GOOD is when I am drifting off the sleep and I can feel my entire body relax. Thank you for posting this. I enjoy your candor and sense of humor.

[Andi]

Definitely feel like I have PTSD after my bout of HG that lasted from 6-10 weeks ( I know I'm extremely lucky it didn't last longer). To make matters more complicated, my partner and I currently live in the Philippines for his work and NOTHING is worse than having a completely clueless doctor say things like:

- what? Morning sickness shouldn't start this early! (said while looking at a pregnancy guide cardboard cut out. Yes this was my ob/gyn.)

- Just take some vitamin b, you'll be okay ( Good idea, I would love to add this tablet to the variety of things I see in the toilet during my typical day of puking over 10 times.)

- This is just because you don't have a job...I had a job when I was pregnant and I didn't have time to feel sick ( Not just one, TWO doctors here said this to me. I could not SHOWER for almost 2 weeks because I was so sick, and they suggest a job would be nice.)

- Sorry that drug is not available (And my soul dies a little more)

- Why don't you just drink some milk ( Are you f**ing kidding me? Say the word milk again and I can't guarantee I won't punch you in the face)

- Well, if you're okay with just eating saltines then I guess that's fine. ( Um, sorry...I'm not okay with just eating saltines. Since you have NOTHING else to help me, I'll continue to attempt eating these horrible horrible crackers. FYI, I would have my toe amputated to be able to eat food again, and yes I do ask myself these "would you rather" questions as I lay on the bathroom floor all day.)

AND the worst:

- Don't worry, you'll probably feel better in a month.

A MONTH. If I'm lucky. Every morning I wake up and feel completely desperate, hopeless and depressed because I have to experience the rest of this horrible nightmare of a day. And then god forbid I even think about the fact that there is another one coming after it. A week of these days is an unbearable thought. And these doctors can smile at you and say "Don't worry you'll feel better in a month"?? Nearly cried/ lost my sanity when hearing this over and over.

I thought the unsympathetic doctors were purely a "well that's what you get when you think it will be okay to be pregnant in a third world country" kind of phenomenon. But this happens in the good ol' United States??