My toddler is a racist
Thursday, September 1, 2011 at 12:01PM There, I said it.
In a frantic effort to pack for the upcoming move, I've had several substitute babysitters from one of the local sitter services (Wondersitter, for those in SF -- they are FABULOUS!). Last Wednesday we got a very awesome African American sitter named Sara. I was introducing Lucie to Sara and she absolutely flipped out. I mean, just... really lost her shit.
My normally warm-and-friendly toddler wanted NOTHING to do with her. She clung to me screaming as I tried to leave, nails dug into my shoulder. If nothing else, it was completely mortifying. I was all, "heh heh, she's just... really shy." But Sara knew what was up (maybe). Perhaps this isn't the first time it's happened to her.
I felt terrible. I was secretly praying that she'd see my Dave Chappelle DVDs on the console. Or maybe notice my Obama '08 paraphernalia scattered about the house. See? I'm cool, I promise!
I told my hairdresser about the incident a few hours later. "Oh! My boy went through that phase too! He was terrified of dark-skinned people and it was soooooo embarrassing," she said, "his pediatrician says he's not exposed to enough people and I should put him in day care."
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This is all very apropos because we are currently in the process of figuring out WHERE on earth we are going to live when we move out of the City.
"Marin County," says everyone who lives there, "is heaven on earth."
Yet we visited Marin County and something just didn't feel right. There was a certain je ne sais quois that something was a little off. Then it dawned on me -- everybody there is white! Very white. Not a hint of color anywhere.
BOR-ing.
If I wanted to live in an all-white community, I would have never left my hometown of Dunwoody, Georgia. We had exactly one black kid in my Elementary School class. No Hispanics. God bless her, she must have felt so alienated. And THAT was public skew-elll (Southern for "school").
I want my child to grow up in a rich, diverse environment full of people of all colors and backgrounds (and no I'm not just saying this to be PC, you all know I don't give 2 shits about political correctness). This is very important to me.
In retrospect, I'm really glad the incident with Sara happened. It highlighted how important it is not to live in a bubble.
Easy Bay, anyone?
Reader Comments (4)
I don't have any childern but I always like to look at different baby items and which parents think are the best, you know in case I should have a little creature someday. I found your blog somehow through pinterest. You are hilarious and I love the little comments you make and the information is very good!
OMG I read this and just had to comment!! I was your child when I was little (I am 22 now and am most definitely not a racist so don't worry it doesn't last). My mother has plenty of her own "mortifying" stories of how I would scream and struggle to get away from "darker" people (which is hilarious in of itself considering my whole family is Mexican and are brown!). One notable story was in a supermarket line and she said an African American woman pleasantly smiled at me (because I was just so dang adorable) and I flipped out and tried to climb up my mom all the while screaming and bawling my head off just to get away from this nice woman. My mom said she just about died. When I got into my teens, my mom got revenge on me by telling these - apparently - now hilarious stories at family get-togethers. Everybody thought they were just hysterical; it was my turn to be mortified. Oooo life.
We live in Central Oregon and it is very white. My daughter named her dark skinned baby doll, "Oprah." I think it was the only dark skinned person she could think of. But given a choice, she always picks the dark skinned or dark haired dolls. I was born in SF and visited recently. One of the things I really loved was all the beautiful colors of people. Mixed families all around me and truly gorgeous children. Adorable!!!
I just found your site through Pinterest and am going through the entire thing, I'm in love. I saw this post and had to comment, please do yourself a favor and do NOT move to the east bay! Most of the diverse areas aren't exactly safe. South Bay is a much better idea! I grew up in both and had a much more diverse student body in Palo Alto.
I should also mention that I did the exact same thing as Lucie when I was a year old and am now one of the least racist people you can meet.
As for the East Bay, Lafayette, Moraga, Concord, Walnut Creek, Concord, Antioch - lived or worked in all of them and wouldn't recommend any of them for what you're looking for... since you seem like a very smart woman:-). Good luck trying to figure out where to relocate to!