Guide to Summer, Part 3: Sun Protective Clothing

A follow-up to Volume 1: Best Baby Sunscreens and Volume 2: Swim Diapers

Instead of dunking your baby (or toddler) in a vat of expensive sunscreen every time you go into the sun, a much easier option is to cover him up. This type of sun protective clothing (rompers, rash guards, board shorts) wasn't really available when we were tots, but now they're becoming the norm for protecting kids from the sun.

Sun protective clothing uses the UPF (ultraviolet protection factor) scale for sun protection and you want to choose clothing that is UPF 30 or higher.

There's a variety of good brands at various price points. Serious swimmers and beach goers should look into higher quality gear, like Coolibar, NoZone and Snapper Rock, while casual swimmers can get away with budget offerings from Target, Wal-Mart, etc. [iPlay is somewhere in the middle.]

* Take note, these are all supposed to be pretty snug. If they're too big, they'll sag, won't dry as quickly and may make your babe cold while out of the water.

Rompers (one-piece sun suits)

The best coverage is provided by a full-length romper, like the one above. On sunny days, I put this romper on Alice, smear some sunscreen on the back of her hands and face, stick a sun bonnet on her head and she's good to go all day long. I don't worry about her getting burned (and she is as FAIR as they come).

We Recommend...

$14 Circo Infant Romper

This UPF 50 romper by Circo does the trick (click here for the boy's version)

$25 iPlay Infant Romper

This popular romper from iPlay zips in the front and snaps at the bottom for easy diaper changes. *Best buy

$40 NoZone Sun Protective Baby Suit

This HIGHLY rated, heavy-use romper fits extremely well, has a front zipper closure, a fully-opening diaper zipper and is highly chlorine and salt resistant. Hard core beach goer's swear by this one.

Sun Shirts (aka "rashguards")

It's a maaaajor pain in the arse to apply sunscreen to baby's neck, shoulders and back, especially if they're already dressed (so many straps in the way for baby girls - geh!), so when it comes to choosing swimsuits and swimtops, you want them to cover as much skin as possible (baby BIKINIS, are you kidding me? These make me laugh.) These days, many swimsuits come WITH a rashguard as the top, which is smart and practical.

Rashguards come in long-sleeved and short-sleeved versions. The long-sleeved ones offer better coverage (obviously), but the short-sleeved ones are easier to get on and off when wet (less friction). One Step Ahead also offers a rashguard that snaps at the bottom like a onesie (below).*Did you know? Rashguards are called so because they protect surfers from wax-based chafing from their surfboards.

We Recommend

$14 Circo and Carters -- from Target

$12 - $17 iPlay

iPlay has a large selection of both short-sleeved, long-sleeved and swimsuit/rash guard combos in a variety of colors. I have a drawer-full of iPlay rashguards to get us through the summer, especially for our Florida trips.

$21 One Step Ahead

These cute rashguards from OSA have long sleeves (that cover the back of the hand)and adjustable ruching to adjust length, etc. On sale now.

HATS

Let's not forget about the most essential item, ye old sun hat -- especially if babe doesn't yet have a full head of hair to protect his scalp. The challenge with hats is keeping them ON your baby's head. Personally, I have the best luck with hats that tie under the chin, but if your baby doesn't have a gold metal in hat-swatting, you'll have luck with any hat.

$12 iPlay Solid Brim Sunhat

This favorite sun hat has a wide brim and ties under the chin. Comes in tons of colors. Perfect!

$15 Baby Banz Reversible Bucket Hat

This highly-rated reversible hat is super cute and functional (very cute patterns for boys, too!)

$19 For girls, the Millymook Vintage Reversible Sun Hat

This one has a removable chin strap for secure and crushes down for travel

Sunglasses

Sunglasses for a baby? Exsqueeze Me?

Eye doctors and dermatologists say yes. The practical answer is "if your child tolerates it". Families that spend a lot of time in the sun or live clos[er] to the equator should definitely look into it. Sunglasses also help keep direct sun out of baby's eyes in the car, especially when you lose the sunshade upon graduating to a convertible car seat [and it seems like NO MATTER WHICH DIRECTION you're driving, the sun is ALWAYS in baby's eyes!]

Experts recommend smaller versions of real, protective adult sunglasses, NOT toy sunglasses, which can actually do more harm than good. Look for glasses that block 99-100 percent of both UVA and UVB rays. Find impact-resistant, scratch-proof lenses that don't pop out of the frames, blah blah blah.

We Recommend

$14 Baby Banz Ultimate Polarized Sunglasses

For babies 6+ months, Baby Banz have a strap that goes around the head to ensure they stay in place and seem to be tolerated well by most babes. These are polarized and have a UV 400 rating for 100% UVA/UVB protection.

$19 Babiators

These cute and highly rated kiddie sunglasses offer a 100% UVA/UVB protection, are impact/shatter resistant, and will be replaced if lost or damaged within the first year - sweet! Fit-wise, they come in various sizes for toddlers, older kids, etc.

That's all she wrote. Happy Summer, y'all!

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If you like this, you'll also like my my Facebook page. Pinky swear!

Next up: Bug spray, water safety equipment and water toys. I'm sure you can hardly wait!

Guide to Summer, Part 2: Swim Diapers

A follow-up to Volume 1: Best Baby Sunscreens

[Next edition: sun protective clothing (I know I promised this next last time, but I lied!)]

Heading to the pool or beach this summer? You'll probably need some swim diapers so your kid doesn't shut the pool down with a doodie (thank you, Caddyshack).

Swim diapers are special in that they don't contain "water crystals" (sodium polyacrylate) and therefore, they don't absorb liquid. If they did, they'd puff up immediately (like a normal diaper) once they hit the water and lose their "containment" power.

The sole purpose of swim diapers is to contain poop and prevent the spread of all the nastiness that comes with it. Contrary to what you might think, their job is not to contain pee*.

* While baby is in a swim diaper, you may get pee'd on. Sorry. Be sure to use a towel under your babe's butt while in her car seat - or better yet, just wait until right before you're ready to swim to change.

Pool Rules

You can do whatever you please at the beach, but some pools have special rules about kids in diapers. Again, the main concern is preventing the spread of illness and disease** from accidents. For example, pools on cruise ships completely prohibit children in diapers (of any kind). The pool at our swim school requires a double-up system: a reusable diaper OVER a disposable diaper, whereas our neighborhood pool allows either. You never know.

** A single poop accident can shut a pool down for hours or even days. I would guess that shutting down a pool would be one of the more embarrassing things that could happen in life. Just sayin.

** Always keep babies and children with diarrhea OUT of the pool completely. Far, far away.

That said, there are 2 kinds of swim diapers: disposable and reusable.

Disposable Diapers

The two big disposable swim diaper brands are Pampers Splashers and Huggies Little Swimmers. They are pretty much the same, so just pick whichever one is cheaper.

Disposable diapers start at 16 lbs and come in diaper sizes 3-6 (S, M, L for Huggies). For smaller babies? You're going to have to use reusable swim diapers (see below).

Pros: Easy to remove by tearing the sides, soiled diapers can be tossed in the garbage.

Cons: Somewhat expensive if you're a frequent swimmer (about $.50 - .$60 each), don't always contain poop very well, don't come in smaller sizes; can cause rashes and chafing, can look saggy.

If you don't swim a lot, disposable swim diapers are the most economical way to go. Always bring extras to change into in case of a #2

For added protection, I would highly recommend using a reusable "waterproof pant" over your disposable swim diaper. About $2-$3 each, they are cheap, durable and easy to clean and re-use. Gerber makes them as does Dappi. These are practically impossible to find in stores. Anywhere.

Reusable Swim Diapers

Reusable swim diapers seem to be preferred by most parents and pool operators -- especially by those who live warm climates, swim a lot, etc.

These diapers generally fit better* because they don't stretch out and sag.

* You want them to be fairly tight to contain stuff, so be sure not to order them too big because they won't do their job as well. That said, you don't want them so tight that they cause redness around the thighs.

Reusable swim diapers are more economical if you're a frequent swimmer, as two or three should get you through the summer, 3 or 4 if you swim a lot. Remember, you'll need to buy at least 2 to change your baby after a numeros dos. I always bring 2 extras with me just in case there are TWO poopages to deal with because INEVITABLY, the day you take your baby swimming, she'll have 3 back-to-back poops. Murphy's Law. Note to self: no prunes for breakfast on swim day.

Reusable swim diapers cost about $10-$15 each, the price of just one pack of disposables. Most baby swimsuit bottoms also have a reinforced swim diaper-like bottom, but I wouldn't rely on this alone. I prefer to use a snug-fitting reusable swim diaper under a lined swimsuit for added protection (and for easier changing).

The downside to reusables is that you'll have to wash them out after a #2 (this is par-for-the-course for cloth diapering moms; the rest of us may find it a little icky). Be sure to bring some disposable diaper sacks along to contain the mess.

Here are some favorites:

Bummis Swimmi Cloth Diapers ~ $14

A favorite among cloth diapering moms, this reusable swim diaper has Velcro (sorry, "hook and loop") closures on the sides for easy changing and a snug fit. They start at 9 pounds, so they can be used for the smallest of babes.

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iPlay $5 - $12

The best-selling iPlay swim diaper is cute and inexpensive. Their plain white diaper has snaps on the side and their cutesie ones pull on like pants.

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Sun Smarties Swim Diaper by One Step Ahead ~ $10

The Sun Smartie by One Step Ahead is also a crowd favorite. An adjustable diaper with Velcro fasteners, it provides a snug fit, easy changing and UPF 50 protection.

REMEMBER, folks, there are NO guarantees that a swim diaper - disposable or reusable - will contain your baby's poo in every scenario. Many frequent-swimming parents have a horror story (or two) to share. Honestly? Your job is to pray to god that your kid doesn't poop while swimming and if he does - get to it right away before it.... you know... just get to it as soon as you can. Once you see the red, scrunched-up poop-face, declare a Code Brown and evacuate the premises, stat!

*** For babies younger than 6 months old who have not started solids, I would be extra cautious. Not to get too graphic, but the loose-stool situation of a young baby is dicey in a pool. Try the beach instead ;-) There's more water out there. And stuff. You know?

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Next Issue: Sunglasses and Sun Protective Clothing

Guide to Summer, Part 1: Sunscreens and Such

With so many conflicting recommendations out there about SUN and babies and sunscreen, it's hard to know what to do. Thus: The Official Lucie's List guide to Summer Fun. Holllerrr!

A huge thanks to Carol Collins, Ph.D., for compiling this research!

Protecting Little Skins

Since unprotected sun exposure is the most preventable risk factor for skin cancer, it's something to take very seriously. Heck, I wish someone had given me the memo about this when I was a young'un; maybe I would have reconsidered daily tanning (burning?) contests with my sister. As someone who grew up in the South, LIVING at the pool every day... I am now well on my way to becoming a leathery old hag.

It's not just skin, in fact, "Children under 10 are at a high risk for… eye damage from UV rays. 'And until about age 10, the lens of a child's eye is clear, allowing greater solar penetration and thus greater UVR-induced ocular changes,' explains Adelaide A. Hebert, MD, professor and vice chair of dermatology, University of Houston." [SkinCancer.org] Fab, I'm gonna be blind and all macular degenerate and sh*t too. Sweet!

So I think we can all agree that protecting our baby's [and toddler's] skin is important so they don't grow up looking like Magda in "There's Something about Mary".

Babies 0 - 6 Months old

"I've read I can't use sunscreen until 6 months and I've got a family beach vacation coming up, what should I do?"

It's true that the AAD (American Academy of Dermatology) recommends keeping babies < 6 months out of the sun and using minimal amounts of sunscreen, but don't cancel your beach vacation [oh no]... just bring along an umbrella or a sun tent and use hats, protective clothing and small amounts of sunscreen when you must.

Last summer on our beach trip, baby Alice spent many an afternoon chilling in our beach tent and wiggling around in the sand. I recommend the Schylling Infant UV Play Shade (below).

Baby Sunscreen 101

Sunscreen vs. Sunblock

Technically speaking, sunSCREENS use chemicals to absorb UV rays; SunBLOCKS uses minerals, such as titanium dioxide or zinc oxide to physically deflect rays from the skin. These terms are often used interchangeably by drugstores and such, so it's a little confusing.

Sunblocks are generally recommended for babies and children (over sunscreens) by pediatricians, advocacy groups, environmentalists, etc, for various reasons [read more below in "sunscreen controversies"].

The general sentiment is something like this: "A natural mineral (aka physical) sunblock is, by far, the safest option to get your SPF. The minerals zinc and titanium sit on the skin's surface and reflect sunrays out away from the body like tin foil. Chemical ingredients [found in sunscreens] are absorbed into the skin to deal with sunrays in a chemically reactive process in the skin cell itself, with potentially unintended and harmful consequences to the skin and body," says Kim Walls, M.S.

The downside to sunblocks is that they are generally more expensive because of the cost of the mineral ingredients.

Screens and blocks come in lotions, sprays and sticks. I prefer to use sticks on the face, sprays for toddlers [and other squirmers] and lotion for infants.

So, what's good?

The Best Sunblocks for Babies and Toddlers

* How did I decide? I weighed input from SkinCancer.org, EWR, Consumer Reports, SafeMama.com and Amazon.com

For whatever reason, most of these products can be a bit hard to find (i.e. they are definitely not found at your local Walgreens or Piggly Wiggly. Sorry.)

Lotions

1. Blue Lizard Baby Suncream SPF 30 ~ $19

* Active ingredients ~ 10% Zinc Oxide and 5% Titanium Dioxide [Non-Nano]

This VERY waterproof formula protects skin for up to 4 hours of heavy activity and uses only Zinc Oxide and Titanium Dioxide (as active ingredients), with no irritating chemical absorbers. This has been our go-to sunscreen since Lucie was born.

This is my personal favorite -- because if it's not majorly waterproof, what's the point? Trust me, you don't want to be re-applying this stuff more than is necessary.

2. Thinkbaby Sunscreen SPF 50+ ~ $17
~ Can also be found at Whole Foods

* Active ingredients Zinc Oxide 20% [Non-nano]

SPF 50+, water resistant, you can actually read and understand every ingredient on this list, yay!

3. Adorable Baby SPF 30+ Sunscreen ~ $25

* Active ingredients ~ Zinc Oxide [Non-Nano] - 24.7%

SafeMama.com Award Winner 2012 - Best Overall

This is an all-natural, high-performance sunscreen that blends clear and is waterproof for 1-2 hours, although [as a practical matter] some complain the bottle is extremely hard to squeeze and the formula is a bit too greasy.

4. Episencial Babytime! Sunny Sunscreen SPF 35 ~ $12

* Active ingredients ~ 10% Titanium Dioxide; 4%, Zinc Oxide [Non-nano]

This highly-rated sunblock is non-greasy and spreads well; water-resistant for up to 80 mins.

Sprrrrray

All Terrain KidSport Sunscreen Spray ~ $12

* Active ingredients ~ 19% Zinc Oxide [Non-nano]

One of the few decent sprays on the market, this one is easy to apply and spreads well; waterproof for 80 minutes; it's non-whitening and non-greasy; we love it!

Stick

Aveeno Baby Natural Protection MineralBlock Face Stick, SPF 50+ ~ $10

* Active ingredients ~ 8.1% Titanium Dioxide; Non-nano 6.8% Zinc Oxide

Water-proof, non-greasy, recommended by dermatologists; works well! Can be a little pasty.

FYI -- There are lots of good sunblocks out there, but many of them are only available through specialty websites [which I tried to avoid]. Other products that deserve honorable mention are: Neutrogena Pure & Free Baby Sunblock Lotion, Aveeno Baby Natural Protection, Honest Sunscreen by the Honest Company (ding'd for frequently being out of stock and waterproof for only 40 mins), Badger All Natural Baby Sunscreen SPF 30 (ding'd for being too thick and hard to spread), and California Baby (ding'd for being REALLLY expensive AND because they won't state whether they use nanoparticles or not).

Remember: sunscreen is just part of the equation that also includes protective clothing [coming next week], hats and eye protection, and staying out of sun when the rays are strongest, between 10am and 2pm.

Sunscreen Controversies (gasp!)

The 3 main controversies (of late) of sunscreens (particularly for children) look something like this:

1. The Nanoparticle debate

Over the past few years, there's been a lot of talk about the safety of "nanoparticles". You see, in the past, mineral sunblocks have consisted of large enough particles so that they always remained white and chalky on the skin. More recently, many products have been formulated to reduce the size of the mineral particles, called nanoparticles, making them less visible on the skin. No more ghosty white-face -- yay, right?

However, there are concerns that nanoparticles may possibly pass THROUGH the skin (especially in pre-term babies and very young babies) and may be photo-reactive, forming free radicals that can cause cell damage. Those espousing this position recommend using only mineral sun blocks that contain "micronized" rather than nanoparticles. [Technically, a nano particle is any particle less than 100 nanometers in diameter, but a particle must actually be less than 50 nanometers to enter skin cells; less than 70 nanometers to enter the lungs, etc] Got it? Ok good.

Essentially, the jury is still out on this, folks. The American Academy of Dermatology [AAD] says "Considerable research on the use of nanoparticles on healthy, undamaged skin has shown that the stratum corneum - the outermost layer of the skin - is an effective barrier to preventing the entry of nanoparticles into the deeper layers of the skin." [AAD 2012]; still, others suggest otherwise. Basically, nobody knows for sure. *All the products I recommend [above] are NON-nano (in case you were wondering what the heck that meant). No she-NANO-gans here, mama ;-)

2. Oxybenzone

The good news is that oxybenzone is one of few FDA-approved ingredients that provides effective broad-spectrum protection (see #3) from UV radiation. The bad news is that oxybenzone is an endocrine disruptor, which can affect the nervous system, has been linked to cancer in some laboratory studies, and creates free-radicals when exposed to the sun. Woohoo!

The jury is out on this one as well: According to the AAD, "Available peer-reviewed scientific literature and regulatory assessments from national and international bodies do not support a link between oxybenzone in sunscreen and hormonal alterations, or other significant health issues in humans," Dr. Siegel. [AAD 2012]

However, many pediatricians warn parents to avoid oxybenzone. So… yeah. *All of the products I recommend [above] are free of oxybenzone. Just in case.

3. Many sunscreens only protect from UVB rays, giving people a false sense of security about spending time in the sun. UVA radiation doesn't cause sunburning per se, but can increase the rate of melanoma and AGEING of the skin (ack!), so many people using sunscreens may be exposed to high UVA levels without realizing it. So... look for sunscreens with broad-spectrum (UVA/UVB) protection (for adults too)!

Natural sunscreen ingredients, including zinc oxide and titanium dioxide, protect from both UVA and UVB overexposure. Do I have your back or what? Pssshh.

So go getcha' some kiddie sunscreen and enjoy the summer!

Stay tuned for: swim diapers and sun protective clothing.

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Newsflash: The new Chicco NextFit convertible car seat is finally out - and it's fabuloussss!

Pumping at Work

Pumping at work kinda sucks, ladies, not gonna lie... but it's sooooo worth it to be able to provide your babe with the good stuff when you can't do it in person.

The goal here is to make it suck as little as possible. [Thanks to everyone on my Facebook page who contributed to this article -- crowd-sourcing, baby!]

* This article assumes that you have the mechanisms in place to pump at work. For more on pumping-at-work rights and statistics, go here.

Equipment

Unfortunately, pumping at work is a bit equipment-intensive. Here is what veteran pumpers recommend for optimal efficiency:

Pumps

For heavy-duty pumpers, a high-quality pump will make a world of difference. It's imperative that your pump have enough suction (to not diminish your supply) and speed (so you don't get fired) -- just kidding (sort of). Remember, your health insurance company should cover SOME form of pumpage, but many will only cover a hand pump (i.e. a manual pump). A hand pump ain't gonna cut it, y'all, so...

Outside of a hospital-grade pump, the two pumps that consistently get 2 thumbs up from working moms are the Hygeia EnJoye and "Old Faithful", the Medela Pump in Style Advanced (a.k.a "PISA"). Armed with one of these pumps, you'll be well equipped for battle.

Here and There

While not feasible for everyone, multiple women suggested buying two pumps: one for the home and one for the office -- especially if you're in it for the long-haul. "This is one less thing you'll have to carry back and forth each day, especially if you're riding the subway or bus. I hate being loaded down like a pack-mule," said one mom.

If you're not pumping a lot at home, another recommendation is to keep your electric pump at the office and a manual one at home. Also, multiple moms suggested to keep a manual pump at work, too, in case your electric pump fails you.

A great manual pump is the Medela Harmony or the Philips Avent Manual Pump. [Now I'm having flashbacks on hiding in the supply closet at work with my manual pump because there were no outlets. HELLLLL! I think I got carpel tunnel (could I have gotten Worker's Comp for that??) I digress...]

Breast Shield Flanges

There are few different strategies for cleaning flanges. One mom suggested, "if you don't want to bother washing your flanges at work each time, buy as many sets as the number of times you pump each day, then simply throw them all in the dishwasher when you get home each night." Another common suggestion is to refrigerate (and re-use) your flanges in between pumping sessions instead of washing them at work. Still others recommend bringing some dish soap and washing them between each use. Your call.

Remember: frequent pumping can make your nipples REALLY sore. Did you know there are five different sizes? It's imperative to use the the correct size flanges to fit you. Flanges that are too big won't allow it to seal properly around your breast; flanges that are too small will cause excessive squeezing and irritation. I also recommend you smear Lansinoh (or some other lanolin-based cream) around the rim of the flange in order to decrease friction. It's amazing what a difference a little lubrication can make!

Pumpin Pals

Many moms rave about Pumpin Pals (below), which are adapters that allow you to sit back in a reclining position while pumping and are supposed to be much more comfortable than regular flanges.

Hands-free Pumping Bra

Most agreed that a hands-free pumping bra is imperative. The crowd-favorite is the Simple Wishes handsfree bra. One mom added, "I actually have two: one at home and one always in my work pump bag so I never risk forgetting it."

Nursing Cover

Many suggested wearing a nursing cover while pumping, especially if you don't have access to your own private space with a locking door. One mom said, "I can't tell you how many people walk in while I'm pumping. Thank god for my nursing cover!"

Keeping it Cold

For getting your milk home every night -- and especially if you don't have a fridge at work, get a small cooler like the Ameda Cool 'N Carry Milk Tote. Many pumps also come with an insulated bag with ice packs. Storing your milk in the cooler inside a shared refrigerator will also help with privacy concerns ("that's not coffee creamer!").

A Sharpie

For labeling everything.

A Water Jug

For you. Because you can NEVER drink enough water while nursing.

In the Car

For those who have to pump on go, the car adapter is key, "I'm in sales and I pump in my office, which is my car. Thank god for the car adapter!"

Logistics

A real let-down

Getting your milk to let-down is one of the biggest challenges for pumping moms at work -- the cold, sterile office environment isn't exactly reminiscent of your soft, snuggly baby. The Hygeia EnJoye pump has a feature that allows you to record a clip of your baby crying [or cooing] in order to help out in this arena.

Other suggestions include bringing a photo of your baby to look at and/or a piece of clothing that smells like your baby. One mom added, "I used to smell my baby's lovey while I pumped. My daughter had one at home too and at the end of the day we would trade and I would get hers and she would get mine; it helped me feel closer to her".

Remember: you need to trick your body into thinking you have a hungry babe in arms; not always easily done.

Pumping Schedule

If possible, try to mimic your feeding schedule at home. If you typically feed baby at 11am and 2pm, for example, this is when you want to pump. If not, get as close to your regular times as possible. Try to schedule meetings outside of pumping times. The more you stick to your normal routine, the better.

No Pressure

Veteran pumpers agree that one of the hardest things is to not fret about how much milk they're producing, "try to just... zone out and relax as much as possible. Don't focus on how much milk you are getting; once I see the milk flowing I don't look again until my time is up. The more I am watching, the less I produce, it seems". Another added, "set a timer so you aren't worried about how long you've been gone and when you need to get back. Look at pictures or videos of your baby, listen to music, whatever you need to do to relax and not think about pumping." "Whatever you do, don't work," added another. Hey, I like that advice!

Many moms experienced a decrease in supply after going back to work; try not to stress about it. "Make pumping a priority or else your supply will dry up and you'll feel defeated," added one mom. To boost your supply, try a galactogogue, like MotherLove More Milk supplements, tea (like Mother's Milk) or even cookies. One mom added, "I find that compression and massage towards the end of the pump session seems to help me maximize my supply."

"Do the best you can", said one mom, "even if you're only able to pump 10 minutes at a time, it's better than skipping a session altogether and it will really help maintain your supply."

EAT

Sounds obvious, but with all the time being sucked up from pumping [god, I'm funny], it's really hard to find time to eat and drink. Remember: nursing moms are eating for two (sort of), so skimping on food and water will negatively affect your supply. Make a habit out of bringing your snack and water jug with you top pump -- you'll need something to do anyway.

Privacy

Look, you can't NOT feel ridiculous while hooked up to a machine like a diary cow, but try to maintain a sense of humor about the whole thing. The beloved Milk It Kit includes cute door hanger privacy signs and "Be back in 20" signs.

"Don't try to hide it or feel ashamed of pumping at work. I find that if I joke about it, it helps disarm my co-workers," said one mom. Another suggested, "Don't be all hostile about your right to pump, this will just make everyone mad. People will resent you because they think you're getting all this extra 'break time', so try to explain how important it is to you and just be nice." Another said, "Men will automatically be uncomfortable about the thought of you pumping near them -- take full advantage of this." Ha!

Keep the Faith

"Set small goals for yourself, like... I just need to make it one more month or two more months, rather than thinking about how far away one year seems (depending on how long you want to aim for); with each milestone you reach, you will feel that much more accomplished and relaxed.

In closing, a message from all my Facebook pumping moms to you:

"Feel proud that you are working and providing for your family; try to enjoy the time away from home when you can use your adult brain."

It's hard work but you can do it!! Good luck!!!

Pumping Articles and Resources:
- The Milk Memos: How Real Moms Learned to Mix Business with Babies-and How You Can, Too
- Pumping at Work: a Legal Right?
- Why I breastfeed, even if it totally sucks
- workandpump.com
- Pumping from Kelly Mom

The Hardest Year

Written 2-18-13

I'm sitting at the ski resort bar writing on the back of a napkin. Lucie is here taking her first ski lesson, so I'm staying close in case it doesn't go well. Meanwhile, I'm praying that baby Alice is okay back at our rental cabin with a local-babysitter-I've-never-met-before.

I should be skiing right now but I'm not*. I mean, that was the whole point of coming up here, right?

You see, I was up the ENTIRE night last night. I haven't pulled an all-nighter since... I dunno, college?

The four of us are packed into one room in a cabin full of friends. Blame the insomnia on a mixture of travel anxiety, too much caffeine, altitude (eh?) and OH YEAH -- because one of the kids was up just about every hour last night *crying*, waking up the other one. It put me into my neurotic why-even-bother-to-sleep mode. I was just praying for the sun to rise -- that way, I wouldn't have to pretend to try to sleep anymore.

I feel so defeated right now. Like... what exactly were we thinking trying to take a ski trip with a bunch of friends with a baby and a 3 year old? I'm a serial try-to-do-too-much'er. It's an illness. 

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About a month after Alice (babe #2) was born, I met a friend at a park for a picnic. She could tell right away I was struggling. She said, "Meg, give yourself a break. Last year (i.e. the year her 2nd was born) was the hardest year of my life".

As though someone had confirmed my worst fear, those words caused a visceral reaction. As my eyes welled with tears, I said, "but it can't be this hard, can it? I think I'm doing something wrong." 

Seven months later, I will tell you: oh yes, it CAN be this hard**. 

Don't get me wrong, I know that most people on the planet Earth have more than one child; this isn't some strange anomaly or uncharted territory for mankind. But I REALLY didn't know how challenging it would be to add babe number two to our lives. 

There's a point to this [I promise]: having young kids is hard, y'all. People don't talk about this stuff, but my girls bring me to my knees... more often than I care to admit. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning and I don't even know when I'll be able to come up for air. Like everything is really blurry and I'm just wading through it.

My friends-who-also-had-baby-number-2-around-the-same-time and I keep reminding each other "it will get better"-- in about a year, I'm guessing. Between now and then, it's just gonna be kinda shitty***. And that's okay.

Doing the things you normally do with 1 kid was totally doable; throw a second kid into the mix and you JUST have to scale it all back. Do less. Lower your expectations. Don't make big plans. And for the love of God, get 2 rooms when you travel.

A childless friend called last week and said "hey, let's hit Tahoe this weekend! Just bring the kids." My Response, "fuckkkk no."

Maybe in a year. Or two.

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* I realize this is a 1st world problem (poor me, I can't ski today - wah wah)

** I have a nasty little "anxiety problem" and apparently I lack some "coping skills" (whateverrrr), so take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm sure all of you a-holes who have a properly-functioning amygdala will be just fine ;-)

*** I'm very grateful to have Baby Alice in my life. I have lots of friends with secondary infertility, so please don't think I take it for granted.